Do not let your…

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.

– Atlas Shrugged

My Biggest Mistake to Date

Mistake. People say don’t call it a mistake, it’s a “learning opportunity.” I agree but that’s only because mistakes lead to you learning something. Either way it’s still a mistake.

My biggest mistake has been my lack of trust in myself.

I have spent too much time in an environment where money is almost everything. Therefore, working for a big company or having a big title means more money and more happiness. But I have been told I should only go for “safe” jobs. Jobs where my chances of actually landing them are good.

I have dreamt about working for some big companies like CBS (Late Late Night with Craig Ferguson), Warner Brothers, HBO, and Google. I have received many raised eyebrows due to the fact that the percentage of people who actually get these jobs are very low.

But why can’t I be in that small percentage?

Well, there is my mistake. Instead of fighting for what I actually want, I have kept my mind focused on what others were saying to be true. For me, it was easier to try it their way, fail, and blame it on them than do it my way, fail, and blame it on myself. 

“I have, let’s say, sixty years to live. Most of that time will be spent working. I’ve chosen the work I want to do. If I find no joy in it, then I’m only condemning myself to sixty years of torture. And I can find the joy only if I do my work in the best way possible to me. But the best is a matter of standards – and I set my own standards.”

– The Fountainhead

Valentines Week 2013

No flowers, no chocolates, no date. In fact, this is the best Valentine I could ask for…

“Dear Negar,

I’ve been All Around the World, and I’ve met a lot of people, but none quite like you. You’re kind, sweet, beautiful, and too caring for your own good! Really, you’re that perfect Somebody to Love everyone wants to meet in their life, and I’m sure every straight male (heck even I’ve nearly reconsidered my sexual orientation after seeing U Smile, Never Say Never, right?) will be looking to make you their Walentine.

I remember last year when guys wanted nothing more than a Beauty and a Beat in their life, I paused and wondered, why would they want a beat too? I figured, of course, that All They’d Want for Christmas, Is You.

But what would I know? I’m young, like a Baby in comparison, but I still Pray you find a̶ ̶B̶o̶y̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶ Justin Bieber who will Never Let You Go and forever make you One Less Lonely Girl!

I’m only going to say this One Time: Happy Walentine’s Day ♥

PS. Even without the help of Justin Bieber song titles, it’s still not very hard to say that you’re an inspiration to everyone around you and I can only hope to change people’s lives the way you’ve changed mine, and everyone’s around me.”


Road Through Elections

Reading Team of Rivals has inspired me to write my own post about my run through the 2012 CUS Elections. Before that, I will say that I wish I had read this book before the elections. Provides some nice insight.

Firstly, choosing to run for president was the first difficult choice. Of course it was something I thought about and wanted to do but I had to question whether I had a good chance of winning. Some people would say well what have you got to lose! It’s true but I soon found out that I lost a lot of black hair, time, and respect throughout the two week period. Not to mention the other opportunities I missed out on.

Since last year when I first thought about running, I told myself that if a certain two people ran, I would not try. Yeah, sure that’s dumb to determine my chances of winning against two other people’s but I’m not a political person. This is the first time I had organized such a thing and I was not good at it. I’m not a person to take political words as dust off the shoulder. Anyways, one of those two people ran and I ran anyways.

When I was still choosing whether to run or not, I also wondered if people would help me run a campaign. A campaign is not an easy thing to run and it’s certainly the job of more than one person. After JDC West, I had many people willing to help me which made me happy beyond belief! It’s so good knowing that you have that backing. However, I soon learned that all these people are busy busy people and perhaps didn’t have as much time to help as I was hoping for.

There came a time when I decided not to run. It was not worth it. I would not win and that was it. Then I talked to one of my friends who had been talking to people and they believed I had a great chance of winning. That was when I said “Screw it. I’m running. It’ll be fun.”

And that was it. That’s how endless nights of staying up creating my own website began. I would go to school, go to work, then come home and work on my website. I sent drafts to a couple of close friends and asked for their opinion and made changes as necessary. As soon as we handed in our nomination forms, I launched the website and my Facebook event page. But once again, it was me sitting behind my computer inviting everyone I knew.

The time between when I decided to run and when we handed in our forms was about one week. That means I had to clearly outline my platform, take pictures, make a website, and get all my nominations within one week. One week of very little sleep.

That very little sleep was nothing compared to the no sleep I got during the two weeks. The first full day of elections, I was bussing to UBC and I fell asleep. The bus driver had to wake me up before he left UBC. I also almost forgot my umbrella. Wasn’t off to a great start but at least I was at school. And I pretty much stayed at school for two weeks. If I wasn’t in CA Hall, I was in the CUS Lounge or I was somewhere in the building. The only time I left was to go home and sleep or to go to work a few times.

Before starting, I was told that some people might see me as weak and a pushover. Therefore, we worked on my “image.” Before I knew it, I was turned into someone I really wasn’t. And of course, people saw me as that person I wasn’t. I was labeled as popular who is only friends with white mainstreamers. This was honestly laughable for me. You know how as a teenager you always want to be popular? Well apparently I was called that now yet somehow did not have the chance to enjoy any of the same benefits.

On the other hand, the other guy was running for the “nobodys”. The people who didn’t get the positions they wanted. The people no one knew about.

Um HELLO! That defined me.

First year, I lived under a rock. My friends were those people I sat with in the back of our Financial Accounting class who made fun of me for drawing all class.

Second year, I tried becoming a little more mainstream. I worked my butt off trying to get involved. Yet when I applied for a VP Engagement position, I wasn’t hired. Surprise surprise.

Then that summer I organized Frosh then I became a part of JDC West. It all seemed okay but I was never at school because I didn’t live on campus. Working also kept me away from school on my free time.

I was definitely not a mainstreamer. I was not popular by any means. I was simply surrounded and worked with those people that were. My three best friends at Sauder were Asian and my high school best friends were Persian. How had people gotten me so wrong?

My speech at the forum was all me. I had not prepared answers to any of the questions that were asked. I simply enjoy public speaking even though my voice can be shaky at times. A few people laughed at me during my speaking time which made me absolutely lose the very little respect I had for them. Fair enough though. I will let you be entitled to your opinion but you simply do not kick someone who is already down.

The day after the forum, I read a blog post about the elections and started balling my eyes out. This was right before a midterm. I did not need this. But I knew if I did not read it, the curious side of me would wonder what it said. If that wasn’t kicking someone at the worst time, I don’t know what is!


I did not win the elections. In fact, I lost by a lot. It was horrific to sit in Ceili’s and see the large gap. But at least I had tried.

I tried and I saw the real side of people. I saw how evil people can be to someone who is already under pressure. Like I said, I’m not a political person. I hate all kinds of politics. I ran for the president of a business school wanting to take attention away from politics and more into business. Some people love politics. They love kicking someone when they’re down. (I had friends criticizing me and how I handled certain situations. Friends questioning me. Friends giving me a million scenarios to deal with.) That’s why I say I lost a lot of respect.

The two weeks of the elections was also the time to apply for a couple of marketing internships. I simply did not have the energy or time to do this. Therefore, I lost the chance to at least go through the application process. Yeah, that may show me as weak but there is only a certain amount a person can endure.

What I did gain was the warm fuzzy feeling you get when someone compliments you. I had someone supporting me whose friend was a main campaign organizer of the opposing team. I had supporters of all kind. I had supporters who knew a lot about the CUS and I had supporters who wished the CUS would leave them alone.

And I gained the chance to say I did it. I survived through a campaign with a couple of scars and bruises but I did it. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. I just didn’t know how emotionally draining it would be.

Was it worth it? In some aspects, yes. I gained the experience and I gained a new perspective on life. On the other hand, maybe it would have been better to think that everyone thought I was a nice person. Maybe it would have been better to keep that image and not lose respect for people I thought were my friends and respected me as a person.

And I will end on a cliche note which I realized after… ignorance is bliss.

Little Miss Sunshine

“…he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, ’cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you’re 18… Ah, think of the suffering you’re gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.”

Blue Valentine


“I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married we marry, like, one girl, ’cause we’re resistant the whole way until we meet one girl and we think I’d be an idiot if I didn’t marry this girl she’s so great. But it seems like girls get to a place where they just kinda pick the best option… ‘Oh he’s got a good job.’ I mean they spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then they marry the guy who’s got a good job and is gonna stick around.”